On the second Sunday in May, the world stops to honor and celebrate moms around the world. Families splurge on greeting cards, flowers, gifts, fun traditions, and lavish meals to show the motherly figures in their lives how much they are loved. Did you know that as grieving mothers, we have a special day just for us too? It’s known as Bereaved Mother’s Day. Bereaved Mother’s Day 2020 falls on May 3rd this year.
Bereaved Mother’s Day was created in 2010 to celebrate mothers who have a child (or multiple children) in Heaven. The first Sunday in May is dedicated to moms like us, who hold a child in our heart instead of in our arms.
Celebrating us on the first Sunday in May feels so special to me because growing up in the Baptist church, first Sunday was sacred. The mothers and deaconess of the church dressed in their all white Sunday best. First Sunday is when we held baptism and took communion. We also recited the Baptist Church Covenant at the start of service.
There’s something about the symbolism of first Sunday that gives me a feeling of hope and gratitude. I can’t help but think that there’s a spiritual connection between Bereaved Mother’s Day and the meaning behind first Sunday.
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Bereaved Mother’s Day 2020 is a day of recognition and reflection
Dedicating a day to bereaved mothers gives a voice to what sometimes feels like a silent community. According to the CDC, one in four pregnancies will end in pregnancy loss. Even though our experiences are more common than we think, the reality is that stillbirth, miscarriage, and pregnancy loss are still difficult subjects to talk about.
We often feel isolated, even in a room full of people. Bereaved Mother’s Day is meant to bring our community together and share in one another’s comfort and healing.
Some may say that Mother’s Day is enough because it’s meant to celebrate all mothers. On the contrary, Bereaved Mother’s Day is extremely necessary because it gives grieving moms reassurance that the loss of our child(ren) doesn’t make us any less of a mother.
I can’t think of anyone more deserving on Mother’s Day than a mother who had to give her child back.Erma Bombeck
I’ll be the first to admit – every Mother’s Day season isn’t easy. Some years are much harder than others. I used to think that as the years go by, my pain would minimize. Spoiler alert: that is not the case, friends.
Bereaved Mother’s Day is a day of rest
Living with grief and navigating through our own respective healing journeys can be exhausting at times. I use Bereaved Mother’s Day as a day of rest. The fourth book of Hebrews teaches us about God’s promise of rest because He will serve us with His salvation.
On my first Mother’s Day, I couldn’t even get out the bed. This heartache of me longing for my son overpowered any urge I had to eat, shower, go out, or talk to people. I was smelly and miserable, crying all day long. My tribe was so worried about me and even I didn’t know if I’d come out of that emotional rut.
The second and third year were a little bit better, but I put too much pressure on me to conform to social traditions like going to church and joining the family at a fancy restaurant to celebrate the moms in our family. It felt… appropriate, but it ate me up on the inside.
Now, I choose to rest on Bereaved Mother’s Day and Mother’s Day. Spiritual rest, physical rest, and emotional rest.
Bereaved Mother’s Day 2020: Ideas to remember your angel
- Plant a tree in your baby’s memory.
- Order a customized remembrance plaque to hang in the house.
- Buy a memorial stone for your home with your baby’s name engraved on it.
- Have a moment of silence when you want to remember your angel. Say a prayer to yourself and share a few thoughts with your angel.
- Customize a memorial wind chime from Etsy.
- Create a Pandora charm bracelet with charms that represent the memory of your angel.
- Write a letter to your baby and keep it in your memory box.
- Buy a piece of jewelry with your baby’s name or your baby’s birthstone on it
- Release flying wish paper with a special message written on it. This alternative is more eco-friendly than a balloon release. Remember to always use caution when handling fire.
- Do nothing – because some years, you just won’t have the energy and that’s perfectly okay.
I curated a list of 100 ways you can celebrate your angel and heal from your loss. Get the mini eBook here, as my gift to you.
Have you gotten a copy of my new book, Heartache, Healing, & Hope? Inside, I take a deeper dive into Grief vs. Religion and how I re-established my relationship with God during my healing journey. It’s available now on Amazon, in paperback and Kindle.
Hey, friends! If you loved this post, then I’m sure you’ll love these too:
The (Invisible) Mother’s Day
An Open Letter to My Son in Heaven
An Inside Look at My Book, Heartache, Healing, & Hope
10 Comforting Bible Verses for Grieving Moms
20 Books for Grieving Moms: The 2020 Book List